Understanding
Gender Roles
Although
Eve was created as Adam’s “help meet” (Genesis 2:18), there appears to be no
other inference to her being created to be subservient to Adam. The words “help meet” simply mean to
aid. The only positive commandment they
had to fulfil together is found in Genesis 1:26; “And God blessed
them, and God said unto them,
Be fruitful,
and multiply, and replenish the earth,
and subdue it: and have dominion
over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living
thing that moveth upon the earth.”
The
Apostle Paul instructs by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit about gender roles
in I Timothy chapter two. There is a
subtle implication for God’s purpose in gender roles given in I Timothy 2:2 in
instructing believers to pray, “for all that are in authority; that we
may lead a quiet and peaceable life.”
“1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all,
supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for
all men; 2 For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable
life in all godliness and honesty.
3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our
Saviour; 4 Who will have all men
to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth. 5 For there
is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; 6
Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time. 7 Whereunto
I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and
lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity. 8 I will
therefore that men pray every where,
lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting {the implication is that our life and actions are constantly before the
eyes of the Lord}. 9 In
like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with
shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or
costly array; 10 But (which
becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 11 Let the
woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a
woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13
For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived,
but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in
childbearing, if they continue in
faith and charity and holiness with sobriety” (I Timothy 2:1-15).
The greatest gift that God has given to men,
apart from salvation, is the gift of a woman with which to share our lives, to
give us children, and with which a man can grow old. If God would have required men to give birth
to children, humanity would have ceased to exist after Cain was born.
Men and women are totally different. Therefore, the unisex movement is ridiculous.
The unisex movement wants to
treat men and women as equals. Equal means the same. Men and women are not the same. That does not mean women are superior to men
or men superior to women. This means men
and women are like cats and dogs that occasionally like each other. They have some similarities, but they are different. Men and women process information
differently. In other words, men and
women think differently. Men and women
act differently. Men and women have
different priorities in life. These
differences existed before the fall into sin. In other words, God created men and women to
be different. Men and women are intended
to complement one another.
Like
two different people looking at the same object, men and women were designed to
see and evaluate what they see from different perspectives. One looks for facts and physical
description. The other sees personality
and character. Idealistically, only
together do they see and comprehend all that God intends them to see. Idealistically, only together are they
capable of doing what God created them to do.
However, since the fall, the ideal that God intended must be recreated. God’s intended ideal exists nowhere in this
sinful world because sin made men and women innately selfish beings.
A great deal of effort will be required by
a man and a woman for them to live together as husband and wife and “lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty”
(I Timothy 2:2). The marriage covenant is essentially an arrangement between
a man and a woman to live under certain conciliatory agreements with one
another that are defined by Biblical gender roles. That is why it is critical to understand that
a marriage covenant is not just
between a man and a woman, but a man, a woman, and God.
Doing
what God commands is called obedience.
Doing what God commands in a way that obedience becomes righteous is
called love. Biblical love cannot be defined or expressed
apart from self-sacrifice. In other
words, loving Biblically is to make your desires and needs subservient to the
person loved. This is what God means by
the command, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”
(Ephesians 5:21), just before He gives the gender roles for the husbands and
wives in that text. Therefore, “Submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God” is the general governing
principle for all relationships given in Ephesians chapter five and six. God has established various levels of
authorities in this world to insure some degree of order and to avoid the
natural tendency of sinners to advance towards anarchy-LAWLESSNESS. This was the substance of I Timothy chapter
one.
“5 Now
the end {goal or point aimed at} of
the commandment {God’s mandate of
righteousness} is charity {God’s
ultimate charge to be given to the Church; self-sacrificing love} out of {three
qualifiers} a pure heart {purified by
knowledge of God’s will}, and of a good conscience {conscious/convictions of right and wrong},
and of faith unfeigned {unhypocritical
or real, living, practicing faith}: 6 From which some having swerved have turned aside unto vain jangling
{random, meaningless talk, babbling – talk
much, but say little}; 7 Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor
whereof they affirm. 8 But we know that the law is good,
if a man use it lawfully {the correct
purpose for which the law was intended- sanctification}; 9 Knowing
this, that the law is not made for a
righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for
sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers,
for manslayers, 10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves
with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be
any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine; 11 According to
the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust” (I
Timothy 1:5-11).
The
Law confronts the Law breaker. The
Law generates fear in the heart of the Law breaker because the Law breaker knows
there will be consequences to pay for breaking the Law. The point here is that every person is a Law
breaker in his heart. Every person wants
something that the Law forbids. This is
what defines the fact that we are all sinners by nature. Fear of the consequences of breaking a Law
may keep us from doing what is forbidden, but in our hearts, we know there is a
desire for forbidden things.
The
Law was “not made for a righteous man” (I Timothy 1:9). The Law is God telling us what is right and
what is wrong and that He is constantly watching. Consequences for disobedience are
inevitable. Therefore, the Law is God’s
sovereign authority spell out in words.
The Law says God will do what He says He will do when any person fails
to submit to His authority in the Law. The
Law is not a disconnected set of rules and regulations disconnected from the
One Who authored the Law. The Law is the
defined will of God that defines the holiness of God and His sovereign right to
execute righteous judgment on sinners who reject God’s authority communicated
by the Law.
I Timothy chapter two begins with instructions
to all believers about the authorities over them. For
kings, and for all that are in authority. Paul says, that “supplications,
prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For
kings, and for all that are in authority.” Every person has numerous levels of
authorities in his life. One of our
first moral responsibilities as believers is to discover, recognize, and submit
to the authorities in our life. God’s
Word gives us numerous lists of authorities to which we are to submit.
“1 Be ye followers of me {as a God ordained authority in teaching God’s
truths}, even as I also am
of Christ. 2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in
all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. 3
But I would have you know, that the head
of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the
head of Christ is God. 4 Every man praying or
prophesying, having his head covered {hair too long like a woman}, dishonoureth his head {i.e., Christ}. 5 But every
woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered {hair
too short like a man} dishonoureth her head {her husband}: for that is even all one as if she were shaven {civil authorities shaved the heads of women to
publicly shame them for certain things}. 6 For if the woman be
not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be
shorn or shaven, let her be covered. 7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is
the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. 8
For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman;
but the woman for the man. 10 For this cause ought the
woman to have power {hair covering to
show her submission to her husband} on her head because of the
angels {angels fell into sin because
Satan refused to accept God gift of dominion of the Creation to humanity in
Adam; superior beings, angels, were made subject to inferior beings, humans}.
11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the
woman without the man {procreation
requires one of each}, in the Lord. 12 For as the woman is
of the man {creation by God}, even so
is the man also by the woman {procreation
though birth}; but all things of God {God
is the ultimate authority in that He is the Creator and has defined and established
the order of His authorities}’ (I Corinthians 11:1-12).
Almost everyone wants to be their own
boss. Almost no one wants to be subservient
to someone else. Being another’s servant
to any degree is one of the most resisted aspects of life. Almost every war or revolution is the outcome
of resistance and rejection of having another rule over us. In most cases, that resistance and rebellion is
due to unjust, harsh, and even cruel treatment by “taskmasters.” However, that is not always the case. Some people are just anarchists rejecting all
Law and all authorities living in constant rebellion against everything and
everyone.
This is the meaning of the phrase “for
murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers” in I Timothy 1:9. Murder begins
with hatred. The reason for this hatred
is the disdain for authority in a child’s life.
Sometimes that disdain is created by parents who treat children in a
manner that is unjust and cruel. Most of
the time, the disdain is just rebellion against authority. This kind of rebellion will be extended to
almost every authority under which a child’s life come. This rebellion will extend to his peers, older
brothers or sisters, teachers, pastors, even finally to police officers. This rebellion is destined to become anarchy
and a social disorder resolved by barred doors and windows.
The
point of God’s order of subservience is that God has ordained authorities to
maintain some degree of order in a fallen universe. These authorities are not always ideal
because they are a part of the fallen universe. However, at what point does the obedient,
surrendered believer say to an authority he cannot obey a certain command? The answer is simple. No one should obey any command that is
contrary to God’s commands. A wife need
not obey a husband who is leading her away from God’s will. Yet, even in her being faithful to God, she
must be careful in how she refuses to follow her husband lest she creates a
poor example to her undiscerning children.
There are grave responsibilities and considerations of ramifications any
time anyone steps outside of God’s chain of order.
Again, we must reiterate, God understands
that His chain of command is intended to be practical only when certain ideals
are being practiced by everyone. The
more a society moves away from God’s intended norms, the more difficult it will
become to live in subservience to ungodly people while trying our best to be subservient
to God’s commands. For instance, a woman
has a husband who beats her and the children.
At what point does she call the police?
At what point does she separate for mere protection? Does this behavior by her husband mean she
can divorce him?
What about Christ’s command in Matthew
5:39; “but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other
also”? What if someone hits you with a
baseball bat? Should you turn to him another part of your body to be
broken? What if someone shoots you in
the shoulder, should you turn to him your other shoulder to be wounded? During Bible times, to smite someone on the
cheek was to insult him intending to publicly degrade or humiliate. Pride would respond in reciprocity because a
person did not believe he deserved the humiliation. Pride would escalate the degradation eventually
resulting in war or killing one another (the Duel). Humility can turn the other cheek because
pride is absent. This is the cultural context
we must bring to I Timothy 2:8-15.
“8 I will
therefore that {the} men pray every
where {in every place as a testimony to dependence
upon God for everything}, lifting up
holy hands {hands that have been
cleansed and that are undefiled before God}, without wrath and doubting {the
implication is that our life and actions are constantly before the eyes of the
Lord}” (I Timothy 2:8).
The two great pains of life are child bearing and child rearing. The first
is borne by the wife and the latter is borne by both parents, but the responsibility
for the latter falls mainly upon the father.
The father is the priest of his home.
The father represents God before his wife and children and he represents
his wife and children before God. This
again is an idealistic representation.
He will often fail. How he deals
with his own failures will be the primary reason his wife and children will
fail in being subservient to the authorities in their lives.
“14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent,
Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat
all the days of thy life: 15 And I will put enmity between thee and
the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and
thou shalt bruise his heel. 16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy
conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband,
and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:14-16).
Genesis 3:16 is a remarkable text. Women needed to understand that before anyone
could be redeemed from the condemnation of sin, some woman at sometime would
have to give birth to the Redeemer described in Genesis 3:15. The pain of childbirth would naturally be an
extremely painful situation that normal people would want to avoid. Yet, God created women with a compelling
desire to procreate. Therefore, even
though the pain of childbirth would be a strong deterrent against procreation,
God had created women with a compelling desire to their husbands to get
pregnant. This is what is known today as
the sexual drive. Men are equally driven to sexual activity. Yet, the sexual
drive must be brought under righteous restraints or chaos and abuse will
abound.
Women have power over men because God has
given them the power of consent. However, if we live under a survival of the fittest
mentality, the stronger would just take from the weaker without consent. Forcing someone to have sex is condemned in
the strongest terms of civil justice in every civilized culture in the
world. The power of consent should never be overruled by force of strength.
However, according to I Timothy 2:9-15,
women need to understand that the power
of consent comes with the responsibility of their own understanding of their
ability to generate human lusts and their restraint in sexual enticement. There is a strong natural desire of a man for
a woman and vice versa. However, BOTH godly
men and godly women should never be trying to generate lust in others by the
way we dress or adorn ourselves. In
other words, we are naturally sexual beings, but we should not use sexual
enticements to draw sexual attention.
“9 In like
manner also, that {the} women
adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with
broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness)
with good works” (I Timothy 2:9-10).
Masculinity and femininity should be
apparent. In other words, men should
look like men and women should look like women and the differences should be
readily and easily apparent. Sex and
sexuality are different things. A person’s
gender should be apparent, but sexuality should be private between at husband
and wife. A person’s gender should be
apparent especially in the way they dress and interact with the opposite gender.
After
giving this primary governing principle to women about ensuring they do not
using the accents of sexuality to entice, Paul instructs about the way women are
to interact with men within the church assembly.
“11 Let the woman learn in silence {quietness or peaceable as opposed to quarrelsome
or argumentative} with all subjection {subordination}.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over
the man, but to be in silence {quietness or
peaceable as opposed to quarrelsome or argumentative}. 13 For
Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but
the woman being deceived was {the leader}
in the transgression {Eve should not have
taken this leadership. Eve should have
asked Adam FIRST} (I Timothy 2:11-14).
Some
have taken this text to extremes.
Such extremes will not allow a woman even to ask a question to be
educated. That is not the point of the
text. The point of the text is the way a woman asks a question in a
public forum. Meekness and subservience
must be the attitude of the woman to reflect her understanding of God’s
assigned order due to the fall and the woman’s part in man’s deception. Women should not take leadership in the
presence of godly men.
“Adam
was not deceived.” However, Satan used Adam’s love for Eve to
entice Adam into direct disobedience to God’s command. Men will often do what they need to do to
please their wives rather than obey God.
Men will rationalize themselves into degrees of disobedience progressively
compromising God’s will to please their wives and even their children. Although this often happens in the home, it
should NEVER be allowed in the church assembly.
Many times, women speak through the mouths of their puppet husband. The husband’s
lips are moving, but the wife’s words are coming out.
“Notwithstanding
she {not just Eve, but all women} shall
be saved in {through} childbearing {the salvific hope of that humanity has laid in the
Genesis 3:15 proclamation of the birth of the promised Messiah Redeemer}, if they {women collectively born under the curse and therefore all men and women}
continue in faith {in the incarnate
Messiah Redeemer} and charity and holiness with sobriety {as expressions/works of genuine saving faith}”
(I Timothy 2:15).
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Numerous studies and series are available free of charge for local churches at: http://www.disciplemakerministries.org/
Dr. Lance Ketchum serves the Lord as a Church Planter, Evangelist/Revivalist.
He has served the Lord for over 40 years.
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